DeckMonster.com - Humorousness

Han Solo-ist

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 21:03:25 -0700

A vocal tribute to John Williams (and Star Wars)...

How dorky/cool was that?!?

(via Greenspeak)

Silly Rabbi...

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:50:22 -0700

While daydreaming at work earlier today, I remembered the punchline to a joke that Rusty the T.A. told before one of my computer science classes when I was a college sophomore.

(No, I have absolutely no idea what brought that to mind.)

Thanks to a little google-fu, I now proudly present the rest of the joke...

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

What's in the box? Another box! (Sorry, private joke. )

LHC LOL!

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 19:35:34 -0700

Lots of interesting activity at the Large Hadron Collider. Check out the webcams on this page and you'll see what I'm talking about.

State government at its finest...

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Wed, 28 May 2008 20:14:30 -0700

The following is from an online system used by the State of Illinois to procure supplies and services...

Only in state government would you issue an addendum to answer the question of whether any addendums had been published.

Pet Lag

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:22:08 -0700

Ways To Tell That Your Pet Cat Hasn't Adjusted to Daylight Savings Yet:

When you get up he stares blearily at you like, "WTF, dude?!? It's too early to get up now." Then he sleeps an extra hour while you get ready for work.
He sleeps 20 hours a day. (Wait, scratch that... That's normal for a cat. )
Instead of waiting for you after work at the foot of the door (literally, I usually have to push him aside to get in), he looks embarrassed while running in from the other room to greet you.

(Confession... I was going to do a "Top 5" but couldn't think of two more. )

"But don't talk back to Darth Vador... He'll getcha."

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:59:57 -0700

Star Wars according to a 3 year old...

The word "precious" comes to mind. I think she did a better job than I could've.

(via ExtraLife)

Brohemian Rhapsody

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:28:47 -0700

Hysterical! I wasn't in a frat in college, but I'm sure this is exactly how it would've been...

Via College Humor (and Egotastic).

Wake-Up Call

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 08:34:00 -0700

This entry is about my cat, Boo...

Especially observant readers may notice the timestamp from this entry is much earlier than usual. That's due entirely to my cat, who decided that I had slept long enough for one night. He communicated this decision by walking on my chest, which is bad enough at 8AM on a Sunday morning. However, Boo emphasized his point by taking a stroll through his litterbox just before waking me up.

Needless to say, my first destination after the stinky-paw treatment was the shower. So I'm standing in the bathroom waiting for the water to heat up, when suddenly Boo leaps from the counter all the way up to my shoulder. Seems he was determined to see over the top of the shower door.

Now, I don't know if you've ever been naked in the bathroom with a cat perched precariously on your shoulder, but take my word for it, it's not a comfortable feeling.

Luckily, I was able to avoid cat-scratch fever in this case. But it's a perfect example of the unique personality that earned Boo his descriptive nickname... Booger.

p.s. Boogey (an alternate nickname) helped me type this entry.

Looking For Group...

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 00:18:11 -0700

I found a terrific Webcomic called Looking For Group a few weeks ago...

The comic, set in an alternate World of Warcraft-ish universe, follows the adventures of an elven archer named Cale'Anon who is out to save the world.

Along the way, Cale gains traveling companions who have a slightly, uh, different set of priorities. In particular is Richard, an undead warlock who provides comic relief, strangely enough, in his absolute delight causing as much death and destruction as inhumanly possible.

If you're into gaming, fantasy, and humor, LFG is highly recommended!

I've Been Simpsonized!

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 01:28:18 -0700

Despite the fact that everyone should just know that Homer and Bart's hometown of Springfield, USA is nowhere near Vermont, I haven't forsaken The Simpsons completely.

So, here I am Simpsonized...

Not bad, although I must say that my cat Boo is better looking than Snowball (pictured).

You too can become a Simpsons character by visiting Simpsonize Me. Upload a headshot of yourself, and then tweak the available options in faces, hairstyles, body types, and accessories.

Don't know about you, but I'm digging the orange and purple cabinets. Maybe it's time for a kitchen makeover at Casa de DeckMonster.

Presenting the world famous "Dramatic Chipmunk"...

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 11:59:33 -0700

If you haven't seen it yet, here's the five-second video (via College Humor) that's taking the Web by storm...

Spoiler alert! ... He's actually a prairie dog.

How It Should Have Ended...

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Mon, 14 May 2007 18:45:53 -0700

Found a very fun site today: How It Should Have Ended.com. The tagline of the site pretty much says it all... "Sometimes movies don't finish the way we'd like."

As you can see, in addition to the hi-res versions on the HISHE website, there also are versions of the videos here on YouTube. Very funny stuff!

Cool Cat

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 21:34:36 -0700

This so reminds me of my cat, Boo...

BTW, PvP is a terrific Web comic strip.

The Love-Child of IE and Firefox... What If?

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 23:54:16 -0700

Someone did a fabulous job of imagining what the end-result of a Microsoft acquisition of the Mozilla FireFox browser, resulting in the Microsoft Firefox 2007 Professional Edition Website...

Better visit the site soon, because I have to wonder how long Microsoft will allow it to stick around. Here are a few choice quotes to illustrate my point...

A robust new Microsoft security architecture known as TakeOver™ helps to protect the Windows Kernel from malicious, damaging and viral software such as Symantec and McAfee products.

And...

At Microsoft, we strive to appear lovable, friendly and helpful...
...because our antitrust ruling conditions force us to do so...

And one more...

Tired of slow image rendering? Microsoft Firefox 2007 can deliver online pornography at blazing fiery speeds. By using a proprietary dynamic algorithm, anything that remotely resembles a tit or a boob will download up to 10 times faster!

Too funny!

UPDATE (11/12/2006): Looks like the site has already been nuked, although www.msfirefox.net still works (sort of).

UPDATE (11/21/2006): And now it's back...

Avast Ye Maties!

dave@deckmonster.com (Deck) — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 12:40:21 -0700

In case you were blissfully unaware... Today is the International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yaarrrrrrrrrrrr!!

In honor of this momentous occasion, please visit the official Website at www.talklikeapirate.com. This English to Pirate Translator is also available if you need to lay some pirate-speak on your shipmates.

Now, where'd I put that grog?!? ...
Continue reading "Avast Ye Maties!"